We Are Broken, What Must We Do To Restore?
by Silver Ribbons
Summary: I'm Afraid of Being Hurt sequel. Nathan and Haley have broken up and are now truly discovering just what they can be. Brooke is pregnant with Luke's baby, lost and afraid. How will they find their ways back to each other or will it tear them apart? NH&BL.
1. My Daddy Owns A Dealership

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Tree Hill, lyrics I use in the titles, any of the characters, etc. I do own any characters I may make up during the progress of this story.**

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**Author's Note- **I just wanted to say thank you to the three people that reviewed I'm Afraid of Being Hurt. It was a depressing turnout, I was expecting a larger outcome. I was especially looking forward to oth4evernaley's review, but I can't linger on that. My faithful reviewers that are now reading this story, the sequel to the past one, do you mind just adding a little note on how you liked the end? Thank you. ALSO: some of you wondered if the spoilers in the previous story were going to be thrown out. No, they will not. They will follow into this story.

To new readers, I would like if you read the previous story before reading this. You'll understand this more. Of course, you don't have to, but you might be a little lost when the characters refer to past events.

Now onto Chapter One!

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**Chapter One:** My Daddy Owns a Dealership, the Rest is Fucking History

**(Lyric in title is from the song I Can't Do It Alone by 3OH!3)**

**HALEY**

It's December 24th. Christmas eve.

A whole month.

My marriage with Nathan ended a month ago at 2:13 AM. I don't really understand currently why I did it, and if it was the right thing. Sure, I was intoxicated, but it felt like the right thing to do. I hope. Maybe my subconscious mind is telling me something I don't know.

Peyton Sawyer died a month ago at 3:38 AM. Her father came home at 5 in the morning, expecting to spend Thanksgiving with his baby girl. Instead he found out that Peyton had passed before he even got home, before he got to say goodbye.

I want it all back, I do. I want laughter and happiness. I want to walk through the halls of Tree Hill High without avoiding Lucas' eyes. I want Nathan out of jail, hell; I'll take a time machine. Anything.

I want Keith and Peyton back.

It seems that just before the summer, I was wanting for it all back. It's depressing, how times in our lives become similar to the pains of our past.

How could our lives be so corrupted so early? I'm only 18, a senior in high school, and I've witnessed more than I would wish upon on my own enemy.

All this hatred, the cruelty in our hearts and the others among us could have been averted with a civil talk.

None of this had to end in blood, tears, pain.

But it **has**.

Brooke has spiraled into depression, Lucas is growing distant, Nathan's still in jail, I'm struggling to keep everything together.

Tree Hill hasn't won a single basketball game since they lost their two most beloved players- Lucas and Nathan Scott. The cheerleading team has grown pathetic without Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer.

Lucas is desperately trying to make sense of this all- why his brother is in jail, why his mother fell back into depression, why his uncle and one of his closest friends is now a whole world away, why Brooke hasn't been to school since what happened, why, why, why…

This tragedy is slowly killing us all, including me. But every day I put on a brave face and stand by my friends, because they need it, but I'm feeling the same hurt as the rest of them.

I need to help Brooke through this, especially with the baby on the way. She turned herself on autopilot; she eats and drinks regularly, but rarely talks. She quit going to school.

She's not even a** zombie**. Zombie's walk and make occasional groans to when they want something, but no.

She's just… Lost.

Lucas is slightly better off than Brooke, but losing a friend isn't all that easy either. Especially one that he has been pining after for years, someone he so desperately wanted before he met Brooke. Although he's not in love with her, he does miss her.

He'll talk to me, but won't let me in. He'll eat, but not a lot. With a struggling mother, and a depressed son, their family isn't working out. Without Keith, they have no other willing family to fall back onto when the café isn't open.

Everything is horrible. The café is closed often; the only time I see the lights on is when Lucas or Karen has to get something from there. I'm out of a job, but with the allowance Brooke never spends, we're doing well on the rent.

I just wish I could somehow help their family.

I think I'm yearning for the way everything used to be.

But there's no obvious way to get back to that now.

But I will find a way. Don't doubt it.

Don't doubt **me**.

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Nathan sat in his jail cell, his eyes drooping out of boredom. He was waiting. But not for Haley, not again. He wasn't going to wait for her, the woman- no, **girl**- who had abandoned him twice.

He was waiting for Dan Scott.

So he waited in his freezing jail cell, on the rock solid bed. His were feet planted firmly on the cold floor, he waited. He didn't move an inch. He waited a month since Haley told him that they were over. No visitors.

He didn't allow his mind to trail off to Haley, or the brutal beating he gave Chris that forced him here. He closed it off and not once had a single face pushed it's way into his mind besides the one belonging to Dan Scott.

So he barely slept, waiting. He watched the sun go up and down day after day. Simply waiting, a smirk on his face.

He was smirking because he knew his father; he knew that Dan would somehow get him out of this to win him back. Anything to get out of the damn jail cell.

Nathan allowed his loneliness in the jail cell to cloud his vision, forgetting Dan brutally killed Keith. He forgot being associated with Dan Scott was a big risk in itself.

He counted the days, and sure enough, on the 30th day, he heard the same voice he had lived with for years.

"Son."

Nathan looked up, where his father was, looking just as malicious as ever with the same smirk on his lips as Nathan had.

The guards led them out to the courtyard, and to a picnic table. It was much warmer outside; Nathan was convinced the guards had turned the air conditioning on only in the winter just to torture the inmates.

"Looking a bit pale." Dan chuckled, and Nathan took his seat across his from Dan, hands neatly folded on the table out of annoyance.

"Oh, and scruffy."

"Guess you know what you would look like if you didn't destroy the evidence." Nathan said in a low voice, his eyes not quite meeting Dan's.

"Son-"

"Don't," Nathan laughed. "The only reason you're here is to help me get out of this hellhole, got it? Conditions will follow. You will not apologize for what you did to Keith because you're not worthy of me accepting it. I will not call you father, because you're nothing close to it. You will not help train me for Duke, you will not make my food, you will simply provide me with a place to sleep and as far as I'm concerned, you can pretty much die. Do you get that, Dan? You're dead to everyone in Tree Hill who knows the twisted truth. You're even dead to **me**. You killed my uncle, kidnapped Peyton, and convinced a cop to destroy the damn evidence, never mind all the horrible shit you've done prior to that-"

"I'm sorry about Peyton's death."

Nathan wasn't buying it, so he replied with a spiteful laugh, "Just regretful you didn't get to it first? That a drunk driver had beaten you to the punch? That makes you a loser, doesn't it?"

Dan waited calmly for his son to stop.

"That's what you always told me, right? 'Always get first place, son. The person that gets second is no less than a loser.' Did I get it right? Did I miss anything, Dan _fucking_ Scott?"

Dan cleared his throat, but shook his head. "No, I've think you've got it right." He said in a low voice, and Nathan finally looked at Dan, the smirk still on his face.

"Excuse me? What did you say?" Nathan said, with a laugh. "Dan Scott thinks someone else is right?!"

"Yes, Nathan. I would like repentance-" Dan was cut off by Nathan, who stood up.

"Dan Scott wants repentance, you hear that?! **AND **he thinks someone besides himself is right! You **hear **that, ladies and gentlemen?!" He yelled loudly in the courtyard, his arms waving around like a maniac. The courtyard was was scattered with visitors and inmates who didn't appreciate the disturbance.

Nathan sat down finally, smiling ignorantly. "It's like fucking Christmas." Nathan said sarcastically, and Dan nodded.

"Well, it is Christmas Eve." Dan said, and the smirk fell off Nathan's face. "What?" His voice was slightly shaky, his mind slipping, bringing in a face he tried so hard to forget.

**FLASHBACK- October**

"What are you doing?" Nathan said, entering the house after a workout at the River Court. He put his basketball on the couch as he watched Haley go through boxes.

"Christmas decorations!" Haley said, chipper. Nathan laughed, walking over to the kitchen island, where the boxes were. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Christmas isn't until December, Hales." He murmured, kissing the top of her head. She shrugged, putting an elf's hat on her head. "Christmas is early!"

Nathan laughed, pulling away and going to the refrigerator to get a drink.

"What was Christmas like at your house, anyways?" Nathan said, taking a sip from his Gatorade and leaning against the counter.

"I never told you?" Haley frowned, and he shook his head. "We never really talked about holidays, you always thought I would be uncomfortable with never truly celebrating one. But it's alright, I want to know."

Haley took a deep breath, deciding it was okay, before launching into her story.

"Well, it was always pure chaos on Christmas Eve. Vivian, Quinn, Taylor, even my brothers would come over. No matter where anyone was- if Vivian was traveling or Taylor was at college, didn't matter. By two in the afternoon, everyone would be home. And we'd open all our presents right before we went to bed, some presents would be pranks that would shoot out at us, others completely thoughtful our parents would deny ever buying in the first place. No matter how goofy it was, it was home."

Haley smiled, searching through the box, finding a picture of her family dressed up in elf hats, matching the one Haley was wearing.

"What about Christmas day?" Nathan asked, obviously curious.

"Well, that was about the** only **time my parents would become serious. It was like they were someone else took over their bodies. Our grandparents would come over, only my mother's side because my father's were in another continent most of the time," Haley smiled, looking down at the picture, knowing where her parents got their love of travel.

"But my grandparents- They were something else, I tell you. They were so judging of my mom, telling her she didn't know how to cook a ham or clean a house, then they would cast sideway glares at my dad just because they thought he corrupted her poor little daughter. My parents would have us go crazy; cleaning every little speck of dust she could see. By the time our grandparents got over, all the kids would be dirty from cleaning we'd look like beggars in rags. That didn't go over well for our grandparents. There would be a few fights, whether it was Taylor back talking Grandma, or Quinn forgetting to make the macaroni and Mom would blow up. It was just because of the crazy tension of the holidays and the need to impress. But at four, every Christmas, we'd put aside our differences and just sit at the table and eat this **killer** Christmas dinner."

"Your parents were serious?" Was all Nathan said, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

Haley laughed, throwing a little Christmas teddy bear at him, "Yes, I know, unbelievable."

Nathan laughed, shooting the green teddy bear at the plastic bin all the holiday things were in. "How's your arm been from the accident?" Haley asked as it went in, remembering Nathan telling her he had hurt it when Rachel's car crashed with Haley's.

Nathan frowned slightly. "It's not like before, but I'll be better by the first game."

Haley grinned, "Better be. Because if you're not a basketball player anymore, mostly all of your sex appeal is gone."

"Mostly?" Nathan laughed, putting the Gatorade in the fridge.

"Do you still have that mechanic suit?" Haley winked at him, making him grin. "I could look."

Haley nodded, but looked back down at the picture of her family. She frowned suddenly, missing them. She felt an empty hole in her heart, feeling secluded from them.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked, coming behind her and pulling her close to him. "This will be my first Christmas without any of my family here." Haley frowned, holding tightly onto the frame.

"You're wrong. You have family right here."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Nathan scowled, remembering Haley for the first time in a while. Why did he let her do that? Sneak up on him, giving him memories of when they were still functional? Nathan felt a twinge of guilt that this would be her first Christmas alone, but that quickly evaporated when he remembered what she did.

"Reminiscing, son?" Dan chuckled, and Nathan's gaze snapped up to Dan's. "Another condition. Stop calling me son."

"Help me with this one," Dan said, his voice serious and slightly menacing. "Why the hell would I want to help you, follow your conditions, just to have you as a dead weight around the house? I have my own conditions."

Nathan's eyes turned into angry slits as Dan laughed. "You look like Lucas, _son_. Trying to steal his squinting abilities?"

Nathan took a deep breath, ignoring Dan.

"Two conditions." Nathan sighed. How bad can Dan's conditions be?

"They're going to contradict what one of your conditions." Dan said, but Nathan shrugged impatiently. He was tired of being fenced in like some kind of animal in this jail. He wanted to play basketball; he wanted to have fun, even if it was involved with Tim. To feel alive.

"First, I **will** train you for Duke. You're getting rusty, no doubt. That means morning runs, dawn work-outs at the gym, everything. Duke will not allow some low graded, idiotic kid who's been in jail into their institution without the help of me. And two, you will have nothing to do with Haley James."

Dan smirked at the look that briefly passed across Nathan's face. This was all part of Dan's plan to reel Nathan back in, get Dan's old life back.

"Fine, done. Whatever." Nathan gave in, and Dan smiled triumphantly.

"It's bad to make deals with the devil, son."

If only you knew.


	2. Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine

Author's Note- Hi, everybody! In this chapter I have a couple things to tell you:

First of all, you're probably going to hate it. The two main couples, NH & BL, are barely thinking about each other. But don't worry, THEY WILL! It's Christmas Eve, come on. You don't think I'll have something to write for the two couples? (:

And second, in this chapter, Lucas is looking at a picture of Brooke. If you wish to know what he's looking at, go to my profile. My avatar is the picture.

Alright, onto Chapter Two!

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**Chapter Two-** Losing My Mind, Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine

**(Lyric in title is from the song Last Resort by Papa Roach)**

The sun was shining extremely bright, showering through Haley's apartment window. Haley squinted uncomfortably, turning over in her bed. She looked at Brooke, who was sleeping right next to her.

They both slept in the round bed, although Haley's bed was still in the corner. Brooke asked Haley the night of Thanksgiving if Haley would sleep by her, so she wouldn't feel so alone.

Haley crawled out of bed, looking at Brooke. She didn't move, she seemed so still. Haley almost couldn't see if she was alive, but she saw Brooke's growing stomach slowly increase and decrease steadily.

Haley looked through her drawers, counting the weeks. Brooke told her she was pregnant on the first day of school, September 5th. It seemed like a world ago, and Haley couldn't believe it was simply just 15 weeks and a couple days.

The symptoms of Brooke's pregnancy was showing more, no wonder she had stopped going to school to keep up the whole charade of not telling anyone she was pregnant. Lucas had to find out sometime, but she was adamant about when. She preferred never.

Brooke's stomach was larger, of course. At three months, she probably could get away with going to school if she wore sweatshirts. But Brooke was at four months, and that was dangerous territory.

Her face was slightly swollen, as were her hands and ankles. Besides the swelling, Brooke's face was also getting fuller, her cheeks slightly fattening along with her chin. Haley sometimes noticed Brooke frowning at herself in the mirror as she passed it.

Brooke was now slightly more verbal, groaning at the pains in her back, commenting rudely on the food, or giggling quietly at the television when she thought no one heard. This was, of course, just another symptom. They were mood swings, at least to Brooke, who had been quiet for a month.

Her nausea had decreased greatly (Haley thought this was a gift, because Haley's stomach would flip when she heard Brooke in the bathroom), except there were slight gags to foods that made Brooke nauseous. She was sleeping much better at night, not needing to suddenly jump up to use the toilet- or throw up in it.

Haley quickly pulled her elastic out of her hair, allowing her golden blond hair fall into loose curls as she made her way to the bathroom, turning the shower valve to the hottest it would go, steam already rising.

Haley pulled off her clothes, stepping hesitantly into the shower. Haley frowned, realizing once again for the umpteenth time that month, scalding hot water didn't bring her pain. Sure, it made her skin turn slightly pink at the contact, but Haley just felt numb.

And that scared her beyond belief.

Lucas stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts only on one thing.

It was Christmas Eve. He should be spending it with Brooke, Haley, his mother, Nathan… But instead, he didn't know where any one of them was.

Of course, Lucas had a general idea of where Nathan and his mother were, but where was everyone else?

Where was Brooke, most importantly? _She must be suffering, _he thought.

He hadn't seen her since she came out of the Peyton's hospital room on Thanksgiving morning, face sullen and soaked with tears. The doctor followed her out into the waiting room, and Lucas could remember everything so clearly, it was painful to think about.

Brooke took a deep breath and Haley stood up, Lucas remembered. There was something there that they both were hiding, Lucas noticed, but his eyes were fixated on the doctor.

"My dearest condolences-" The doctor began to apologize, but Brooke looked so crushed, so torn up that Lucas had to look away. He wanted to comfort her, but he reminded himself they were no more than acquaintances and he couldn't deny Brooke's request when she was like that.

Brooke ran out of the hospital then, fresh tears springing in her eyes. Haley jumped up and ran after her. Lucas sat up suddenly, realizing that if anyone knew where Brooke was, it would be Haley.

Lucas shook his head, deciding it wouldn't be proper if he waltzed into Haley's apartment and ask her where Brooke was when he hasn't had a decent conversation since… Well, Lucas couldn't exactly remember when.

Lucas sighed, running a hand over his face. His thoughts were suddenly so jumbled, not knowing if he should go speak to Haley or go look for Brooke. He looked to his nightstand, where pictures of the most important people in his life stood, smiling.

The first picture he saw was of him and Keith, the one he's had since he was seven. He was a little boy then, but he remembered he felt happy, not knowing of the evil in the world.

The next picture was of Lucas and Haley. Karen had taken it their freshman year, the two sitting at the counter in the café doing their homework. Haley was rolling her eyes at Lucas's paper, an all-knowing smile on her lips. Lucas was in the middle of talking, defending himself, when Karen snapped the picture.

The picture next to those two was Lucas and Nathan. It was at the Rivercourt a while back, Haley snapping the picture from one of the benches. Nathan was going for a dunk as Lucas leaned over slightly, breathing heavily. No one thought anything about it because the two were both slightly smiling, but that was just after Lucas had diagnosed with HCM.

Lucas frowned at that picture, moving a hand slowly over his heart. It was beating calmly now.

Lucas's term 'calm' was used loosely, because his heartbeat was irregular and not spaced out evenly. But it was slow, not working too hard, and that was enough.

The next picture Peyton, except she wasn't smiling. It was hard to get a smiling picture of Peyton because she always noticed there was a camera around. She was sticking out her tongue at the camera and scrunching up her nose, her eyes squinted slightly as her curly hair sprung in every different direction possible.

The one in front of them all was of Brooke. Lucas replaced the one of Brooke in her cheerleading uniform to a much more recent one. It was taken at Keith's wedding to Jules, one where the photographer was snapping random pictures. When Lucas saw the photos, he found his favorite and asked for a copy.

It was during the wedding, when everyone was sitting. Lucas couldn't remember what was so funny, but Brooke was grinning happily, her lips shining slightly from the subtle pink lip-gloss she was wearing. Her dimple was deep, reaching far down near her chin, her hair falling into curly waves. She was so beautiful that Lucas had to tear his eyes away because if he kept looking, he was afraid he'd give in and go running after her.

He knew that if Brooke walked through his door, asking for him back, his defense would crumble and he would take her back in a heartbeat.

But Lucas couldn't bear to think of Brooke, it caused too much pain. He knew that his body wasn't cooperating well with not being able to wrap his arms around Brooke's waist, to kiss her delicate lips again and just **be** with her. His heart was spasmodic when he thought of Brooke, speeding up with hope and thrill as her laugh rung through his ears as if she was still there.

Lucas wasn't a man of many needs, but he did have a few.

And his main one was for the love of his life.

Nathan, however, was feeling just the opposite.

Nathan got out of Dan's car; glaring at anything he could get his eyes on, following after Dan slowly.

"Come." Dan ordered, and Nathan realized he was hesitating at the porch steps. "Afraid?" Dan chuckled, and Nathan cleared his throat, sighing.

_Stupid welcome mat. Stupid house. Stupid lawn gnome, what the hell? Who uses lawn gnomes, especially in the rich part of Tree Hill? Pathetic Dan. Probably tries to get the 'family friendly' approach for the pedestrians that don't know any better. _Nathan growled in his mind as he walked up the steps to Dan's new beach house.

"So," Dan started a conversation with Nathan, slowly looking through his ring of keys for the door the two stood in front of. "How exactly was jail?"

"Curious what it would have been like?" Nathan grunted, and Dan smirked, looking down.

"We both knew I wasn't going to jail." Dan said, and Nathan stared at Dan, wondering if he heard correctly.

"Excuse me?" Nathan growled, and Dan chuckled slightly at Nathan's anger.

"Nothing." Dan replied simply, opening the door. The new beach house was spacious, the front hallway as large as a living room with marble sculptures and an expensive looking paintings hanging on the walls. Nathan's eyebrows slightly rose before throwing his backpack-which barely had anything in it- onto the floor.

It knocked into one of the marble statues, which teetered dangerously. Dan grabbed onto it as Nathan walked across the pure white carpet- ignoring when Dan yelled, "NATHAN, shoes!"- tracking mud everywhere.

Dan picked up the backpack and as Nathan turned it around, threw it at him. Nathan groaned, getting caught off guard.

"What the hell?!"

"My house, my rules. You take your shoes off before entering this room- or any other room, for that matter." His eyes were furrowed angrily, suddenly acting like a clean freak.

"Whatever, Dan." Nathan scoffed, walking around the room. "Shoes!" Dan ordered again, and Nathan quickly pulled them off, throwing them at Dan, who stumbled to catch them.

"That attitude **better** be gone by tomorrow's run." Dan growled, throwing the shoes off to the side as Nathan saluted Dan. "Ay-Ay, Captain." Nathan said sarcastically.

"Where's the bathroom?" Nathan muttered, looking around at the various doors, and peering through the archway.

"There's one in my office, on the right," Dan pointed through the archway. "Daisy! Come clean this!"

Nathan raised his eyebrows as a tall, skinny girl popped out of nowhere and ran to the carpet immediately, scrubbing away in her maid's uniform. He laughed in spite.

"Nice, work the girl like a slave." He said sarcastically, before walking toward the archway. He slowed slightly when the girl started singing.

She was **horrible**! Nathan grinned now, turning around slightly. Dan had left the room, and Nathan could practically see up the girl's skirt.

"I don't believe we have met!" Nathan said cheerfully, now walking toward the girl, who looked over her shoulder.

"I'm Daisy." Daisy smiled, flashing her pearly white teeth and standing up as Nathan stood in front of her.

"I'm Nathan." Nathan smiled, observing her. She was a little shorter than him, but definitely taller than… _Her._

Daisy had pitch black hair, even darker than Brooke's, with blood red streaks. It was a slight bob, cut a little before her shoulders. She had small hips, abnormally large… Assets- which Nathan assumed were fake- and she was so skinny Nathan was surprised she wasn't falling over from being unbalanced.

In other words, she was the exact opposite of Haley.

Perfect.

"Brooke, wake up!" Haley yelled, drying her hair with a towel while she pulled on slippers. Brooke groaned slightly, her eyes opening but quickly shutting again.

"Light?" Haley asked, and Brooke nodded miserably, hands over her eyes. Haley sighed and pulled the curtains closed for Brooke, who didn't move. "Breakfast." Haley pushed Brooke's shoulder slightly.

"What time is it?" Brooke asked, emotionless.

"Eleven." Haley sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Look, I'm going to go to the bathroom. If you're not sitting at that island when I get out then I'm dragging you out. Got it?"

"Mhm." Brooke mumbled, pulling the cover over her head with a groan.

Sure enough, Brooke was sitting at the island when Haley walked into the kitchen, her eyes drooping sadly.

"What are you craving?" Haley asked, opening the fridge. Even with Brooke's depression, a pregnant woman can't deny someone when they offer to give you whatever you're craving.

"Ketchup and ice cream." Brooke decided, and Haley slightly gagged. "That's disgusting." Haley groaned, and Brooke shrugged, a smile not meeting her lips like it would have.

"You're not eating it." Brooke replied. Haley frowned, grabbing a bowl. Brooke's speech was flat, but at least she was talking. Her voice was distant, though, and not happy. There wasn't a bit of joy in her pained words.

But words _are_ a start.

After Haley gave Brooke her ice cream and ketchup poured all over it, she left the room. Haley was never a fan of ketchup, the smell disgusted her. She used it on hot dogs occasionally, but the smell made the hot dog worse.

"Where are you going?" Brooke said, mouth half full. "Bathroom!" Haley called, and Brooke sighed.

"Again?"

Haley chose to ignore Brooke as she entered the bathroom.

Lucas was about to fall back asleep, bored out of his mind, when his phone rang. He fumbled to find it on his nightstand, eyes still closed.

"Hello?" Lucas mumbled, not checking the caller ID.

"Lucas?" It was Larry. Lucas sat back up, surprised. "Yes?" His voice shook slightly.

"Can you come on by? It's important." Larry's voice tore Lucas apart; it must have saddest voice Lucas could have ever heard.

"Of course-" Larry had hung up before Lucas could finish the sentence. Lucas pulled on a shirt quickly, stuffing on his shoes so fast the backs went down with his foot. He didn't care; grabbing the keys off the dresser, and yanking open his door to outside.

"Luke?" Karen said, looking up and brushing her hands off of her pants. Lucas was stunned momentarily. When had she gotten over this bout of depression? Who helped her through it?

Karen smiled slightly at her son, concerned. She pulled off her gloves, and Lucas noticed she was gardening. "Where you going, hun?" Karen moved toward her son, but he stepped back, looking around.

"I thought-" Lucas looked around, startled. "You're going out?" Karen asked, a slight smile on her face.

"Larry's." Lucas said, numbly. How oblivious was he to his surroundings? The bright sun shone into his face, the brisk winter air actually making his cheeks cool.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Karen frowned, and Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. "Why not?" He asked, and Karen sighed deeply, looking down.

"You've been depressed- distant, really- since Peyton's…Uh, passing." Karen explained, and Lucas stared at his mother as her eyes deepened with concern.

"No I haven't!" Lucas said, shocked. "It's been you…" Lucas stammered, his head spinning. "The café-" He stared at her, and Karen frowned.

"It's been closed because I've been looking after you. I told you that, hunny. Are you sure you're okay? Are you sick?" Karen said, but Lucas didn't think she meant the flu kind of sick.

"What's that?" Lucas said, looking down at Karen's stomach. It was larger, but the rest of her body was still moderately thin.

_What? What did I miss?_ Lucas thought, and Karen hesitated. "I told you, I've been pregnant since the end of August. Remember?" Lucas shook his head, beginning to grow annoyed with the weird treatment.

"Oh, hunny." Karen cooed, struggling with her words. "Remember when Keith proposed and I said yes? Before his… Passing?"

Lucas reluctantly nodded.

"We made love after I accepted. I told you in October I was pregnant." Karen whispered, and Lucas remembered October as a blur. It was when Brooke left.

"I-I gotta go." Lucas said in a hurry, not sure if his words slurred together, running to his car.

"Lucas!" Karen said desperately, but Lucas was already backing out of the driveway in the car that reminded him of Keith. He would have walked, but he needed to get to Larry's. Larry needed him.

But so did Karen.

Nathan slammed against his new bedroom wall, pushed by Daisy. She thrust her lips onto his, and his mouth opened automatically as she cupped his face desperately. Their tongues entwined, playing with each others, as the kiss became dangerous as Daisy fumbled with Nathan's jeans.

Nathan wanted to pull away, not feeling anything, but that was a Nathan that disappeared a month ago. So he smirked against Daisy's lips, already forgetting her name as she pulled off his belt and he gripped her waist.

_Too damn small_, Nathan said, annoyed as Daisy pulled him by his collar to the bed. _Don't these girls know how to eat? I need something to grip onto, you know.  
_

Daisy pulled away from Nathan, breathing heavily as she unbuttoned her maid's top and Nathan impatiently pulled off his own shirt, throwing it to the floor. Daisy finally pulled off her top, and Nathan eyed her, grinning obnoxiously.

_Well, that's a perk._ Nathan thought before falling back onto the bed with her.

Brooke finished her bowl already and moved to the couch, watching a black and white movie on the couch when Haley thought it was safe to come back out.

"What are you watching?" Haley asked, sitting down next to Brooke on the couch. Brooke was holding tightly onto her blanket in anticipation, a sad look on her face.

"The Philadelphia Story. Shh." Brooke said, and Haley glanced at the television, a man kneeling near a beautiful woman who seemed to glow.

"But… I don't want to be worshipped, I want to be loved." The woman said, and Brooke shifted her weight uncomfortably and Haley frowned.

"Why watch these movies if they make you sad?" Haley whispered gently, and Brooke looked over, the frown slightly fading. A shimmer of life flashed in Brooke's eyes before she looked back at the television, and Haley frowned, looking down.

"I watch them because they're simple." Brooke uttered, and Haley looked up, surprised. "Because the guy gets the girl and no one gets in the way. Even if they try to, true love always prevails, right? I do it because when you're at school, I cry when the guy gets the girl or the story this tragic ending that still shows how hopelessly the two lovers have fallen for each other."

_Did she just say she cried?! She had shown emotion?_ Haley thought, stunned.

"But it's **black and white**. It's obvious that these writers weren't thinking clearly, they figured they'd make some epic love story… But that just shows that the color of these movies were the ways people saw in their times, that you could fall in love and stay that way for the rest of your life. Until your story is over, you know? I've seen the gray's and in between's, Haley. And you have too. So that's why I watch them. To feel something, hope, yearning… I search for an inkling of hope that love still exists. But we know better, don't we? Life is no fairy tale. People die and hearts break. In the end you just die alone, right?"

Brooke sighed, and Haley could feel tears in her eyes, wanting to cry. Haley took Brooke's hand in hers, which was incredibly cold.

"You're **not** alone, Brooke."

Lucas stumbled out of the car, parking in Peyton's driveway. He stuck a finger in the back of his shoe, properly pulling it up. He did the same to the other one before looking up at the house. Looking at it shot a pain through his heart, sadness overcoming him.

Larry opened the door after Lucas rang the doorbell twice, looking like a mess. His hair was sticking in every direction, not looking washed for days. He had a dark, scruffy beard, and probably hadn't shaven for a month or a little more, seeing he was away at sea.

"Come in." Larry's was raspy, and he lead Lucas to the kitchen. "What did you need?" Lucas choked slightly when he saw Peyton's black converses near the table, not moved.

Larry placed a cell phone on the table, Lucas recognizing it at Peyton's. "Coffee?" Larry mumbled, and Lucas shook his head, Peyton's memory pushing into his head.

"_Wow, came sooner than I thought. Coffee?" "Nah." "More for me."_

Larry sighed, making himself a coffee before sitting down with his mug, his thumbs nervously tapping it.

"You know," Larry took a shaky breath. "In the middle of the night I smell coffee- Or at least, I think I do… I make it **all **the way to the kitchen with a smile on my face when I realize she's gone."

Larry sounded so desperate, but tried to laugh a bit. It came out more of a gasp, Larry's breath getting caught in his throat.

"But, onto the point… I finally turned Peyton's phone on yesterday. I looked through her instant messaging history, wanting to read the way she talks, I suppose, to remember her a bit more. But then I-I found this. Do you know who this is?"

Larry's face was now filled with concern as he passed it to Lucas, worrying Lucas as he looked down at the screen. It was conversations of Peyton and someone else, even mentioning Lucas himself.

Lucas felt his eyebrows furrow father in confusion as the conversations went on. Why didn't Peyton tell him about this?

A blaze of annoyance and protectiveness tore through Lucas as the writer continued to taunt Peyton. It wasn't a boyfriend type of protectiveness, Lucas noted, it was more like a big brother protectiveness.

The instant messages continued to the night before Thanksgiving. The last instant message read:

**DYTIWWA:** My, my! Little Peyton, haven't I taught you _anything_? Don't play with fire. Don't tempt god damned fate! Karma is a bitch, trust me. You'll get your fair share in the end. Maybe sooner than later. I'll be seeing you… Or not.

Chills were sent through Lucas's body when he read this; Larry had grown still before him. Peyton didn't get a chance to reply because the sender signed off as quickly as he signed on.

"Do you think…?" Larry hesitated once again, and Lucas tried to pretend the sadness in Larry's voice wasn't there.

Lucas looked up at Larry, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"That these texts were related to my baby girl's… Death?" Larry choked out the last word painfully.

"It's impossible." Lucas shook his head, still clutching onto the phone.

"The driver was drunk, it was dark…" Lucas said, standing up.

There was a brief silence before Lucas continued talking.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go." Lucas grabbed his coat he put on the back of the chair and looked at the phone.

"Mind if I keep this?" Lucas asked, and Larry nodded solemnly, and Lucas nodded slightly.

"If you need anymore, Mr. Sawyer, I'm here."

"I know." Larry replied, his voice a little more raspy than before. Lucas turned to leave, walking out the all too familiar house.

He was on the porch when Peyton's cell phone rang.

**DWTIWWA:** Welcome to the game, Lucas.


	3. Love, Sex, Pain, Confusion, Suffering

**Chapter Three:** Love, Sex, Pain, Confusion, Suffering

**(Lyric in title is from the song Confusion by Alice In Chains)**

"What the hell did I just do?" Nathan said, running a hand over his face.

Nathan knew what he did, of course. He pushed away Daisy right before she managed to pull off his pants.

"You're Nathan Scott." Nathan said to himself. "You did this all the time when you were with Peyton, so why not now?"

There was a chuckle from the corner of the room. It wasn't Dan's, Nathan knew that. It was bubbly.

"We weren't in love, Nate."

Nathan suddenly sat up, his head rushing as he saw…

"Peyton?"

Peyton nodded, a slight smile on her lips.

"You're-"

"Dead? I know," Peyton laughed, acting like nothing was wrong. "But that's not the reason I'm talking to you."

"I'm seeing things." Nathan closed his eyes, and counted to three.

"One…"

"What the hell are you doing?" Peyton said, annoyed. Nathan's eyes snapped open, and she was now sitting in front of him, head titled to the side.

"Waiting for you to disappear."

"We don't have time for these games, Nathan." Peyton stood up, hands on her hips.

"Fine!" Nathan said angrily, throwing his hands up. "The maid is gone; I have nothing better to do. Talk away."

"What happened to you?" Peyton frowned. "You're just like before."

"Before? When, exactly? Before Haley, or after she left when she kissed Chris?"

Peyton glared at Nathan. "You're not doing this to hurt Haley, are you?"

"You never were that smart." Nathan muttered, crossing his arms and resting his head on the headboard of his bed.

"Nathan." Peyton said sternly. "I'm **dead**, do you realize that?! I can't believe you'd be so selfish to dismiss the fact that life is too short. Make things right, or I'll be back."

And just like that, she was gone.

Lucas stared down at the cell phone, in awe. He couldn't believe Peyton has been signed on this whole time, never mind that the phone had four bars. Larry had probably charged it, but was afraid to look through it.

Lucas was quick to reply, his jaw clenched.

**PSAWYER23: **Who the fuck is this?

**DYTIWWA:** Now, now, Lucas! Don't get feisty with me. You know you'll pay for it. Save yourself the torture. Your little friend had to pay for it; do you want your life to end too?

**PSAWYER23:** Don't you dare talk about Peyton like that. I asked you who this is, are you going to answer me? Or are you just a sick fuck that likes to kill people that don't deserve it?

**DYTIWWA:**_I_ didn't kill the girl. And believe me, Lucas. Peyton deserved everything she got- brought it all upon herself. And trust me, I know. I've been here every step of the way; I've seen her bony ass try to skank up Tree Hill. I wonder if it's contagious, actually. Nathan with that maid, you with Brooke AND Peyton… Even your mother has been whoring it up between Andy and Keith.

**PSAWYER23:** Nathan and a maid?!

**DYTIWWA:** Wow, thought you would get pissed that I just called your mother a whore. Guess not. Apparently, you think sleeping with three guys isn't that bad. After all, you have slept with what, two girls since the beginning of Junior year? Who knows if you slept with curly-q. I bet you'll beat your mother's record by age twenty-three… No, no. Nineteen. I'll take bar skank for five hundred, Bob!

**PSAWYER23: **I swear to God, when I get my hands on you, you're going to regret this. If you're not going to tell me your name- because you are a coward- tell me what you know about Nathan and this… Maid. Did he cheat on Haley?

**DYTIWWA:** Wow, Lucas. How out of touch are you? Nathan and Haley have been over for exactly a month, to this day. She ended at the jail. Heartbreaking, to say the least. Definitely causing me to tear up. But on the bright side, Nathan's moving on to some maid, which is hilarious. You'd think he'd go for the more adventurous approach- steal a school bus and make out with some girl while driving, but instead he took the boring road and just settled for the bed... But let me tell you something: Nathan's not the only one moving on.

**PSAWYER23:** Are you talking about Haley?

**DYTIWWA:** Haley's a whole different bundle of secrets for another day, Lucas. I'm talking about Brooke.

Lucas stood there for a second, now down the street. He looked up, all around him, paranoid. He was so into his conversation with this person that he didn't even realize he had moved an inch.

**PSAWYER23:** What about Brooke?

**DYTIWWA:** Just that she's closer than you think. And that other people are in on her secret.

**DYTIWWA is no longer available.**

"Coward!" Lucas suddenly screamed out on the empty street, hoping the person heard him. The scream made his voice raspy. "God dammit." Lucas whispered desperately, looking up at the sky.

He knew he was now, more than ever, indubitably alone in this one.

Haley was on the touch, her hair tied up in a messy bun with strands falling out around her face. She didn't glance up at Brooke when she walked back into the living room, peering attentively at the book in front of her.

"What's that?" Brooke said, and Haley glanced up, putting her pen behind her ear. She was getting used to Brooke's chattiness, but couldn't ignore the fact her voice was still hoarse and wounded.

"_Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens_ by Sean Covey." Haley lifted the book up so Brooke could see the cover.

"…Why?" Brooke said, digging into her crackerjack box. Haley stared at it for a second as Brooke pulled out the prize. It wasn't a plastic bracelet, but a small plastic lion.

"U-Uh… For Health. Extra credit." Haley cleared her throat uncomfortably, reaching over for the assignment guidelines.

"I have to write a report about the book, a page describing each habit and how teens can factor them into their everyday life-"

"Boring." Brooke rolled her eyes, pressing madly on the remote to find something to watch. "I don't understand why you're doing extra credit, anyways. You don't need it."

Haley shrugged.

"Do you even have health?" Brooke put down the remote after findng a show. "Why would you be doing work for a class you don't have?"

"It's not for me."

"Doing other people's work?" Brooke looked over, her eyebrows knotted. "What have you done with Haley... And how much are you getting paid?"

"It's for you." Haley frowned, looking down at the book to avoid Brooke's stare.

Brooke took a deep breath.

"And why would you do that?"

Haley hesitated, fumbling with a pen.

"I never told the principal you dropped out of school. I told him you'd be back soon enough and that you'll do the work at home... Which I've been doing and handing in for you." Haley said guiltily, hating the fact she was lying to all the authority at Tree Hill High.

"But I **won't **be back, Haley!" Brooke's voice was so shrill and ruthless it surprised Haley.

"You need to be in school, Brooke! Have you forgotten you're four months pregnant? Have you forgotten that you have a baby on the way and you're living in an apartment with only one room and you need to have a decent income to support said baby? Or do you just want to ignore the fact?" Haley yelled back, but her tone didn't quite meet Brooke's.

"Screw this." Brooke mumbled angrily, standing up and yanking her coat off the back of the couch.

"Where are you going?!"

"I have a doctor's appointment with Doctor Rockford and she's expecting me to come before she closes up." Brooke was now pulling on her shoes.

"It's not until one, Brooke. You have an hour." Haley reasoned, but Brooke rolled her eyes and grabbed her keys.

"Better being there than here. Don't do anymore work for me, got it? I'm not going back to Tree Hill High. Ever."

Haley watched Brooke storm out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind her. With a sigh, Haley continued to write the report.

She wasn't going to give up on Brooke.

Lucas walked to the cemetery, a gloomy feeling washing over him. There was a flower stall on his way there, which Lucas planned on stopping by.

"A bouquet of…" Lucas paused, looking over the menu and prices. He felt a sharp pain in his stomach as he read. Roses.

_I'll follow you and make a Heaven out of Hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well._

"_Guess three months can change everything."_

"Sir?" The man said, breaking Lucas out of his trance. Lucas cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Sorry. I'll take a bouquet of yellow daises and a bouquet of purple tulips with baby's breath, please." Lucas said to the man, who smiled at him and quickly rang it up, putting the bouquet quickly together.

Lucas wanted so dearly to go back to that time, not to run from Brooke because he was so selfish. He would have stood by her and now he didn't know where the hell she was.

Lucas made his way to the cemetery, knowing the way to Keith's grave by heart. The flowers he placed there a couple of days ago were withering slightly, so he replaced them with the daisies.

"Hey, Keith." Lucas whispered, kneeling down in front of Keith's grave with the other bouquet in his hands.

"Still haven't found Brooke. Hope you're doing well... Wherever you are." Lucas sighed, still staring at the Keith's grave. He wished so desperately Keith was still here, that he had came in time that night…

An icy cold breeze blew through the cemetery, sending chills up and down his back. It was odd because for a December day, it was reasonably warm for the season. Lucas simply smirked at the grave, taking it as a sign.

"Thanks, Keith. Say hi to Peyton for me." He reached out to touch the cold stone before standing up and walking to Peyton's grave.

Lucas placed the tulips in front of Peyton's grave, which wasn't too far from Keith's. "Hello, Mrs. Sawyer." Lucas pulled out a long tulip from the bouquet and leaned over, placing it in front of Anna Sawyer's grave.

Lucas turned back to Peyton's grave, an ache in his chest. "I'm so sorry." He said helplessly, feeling at fault. He could have jumped in front of Peyton, why didn't he? Why didn't his impulses react quicker?

"Brooke is too, I'm sure…" Lucas trailed off, looking away. He plucked a dandelion out of the ground, twirling it around between his fingers.

"She would have been here during the funeral, but she's just- Well, I don't really know how she is. Should I even be talking to you about this right now? The last thing I wanted to do was disgrace your memory, Peyton." Lucas raised the dandelion up to his mouth, taking a deep breath.

Not caring how childish it seemed, Lucas made a wish with all his strength and blew.

"Nathan!" Dan's voice bellowed through the house, and Nathan lazily ran a hand over his face.

"What?" Nathan called back, his voice weary from thought. There was no reply. "What?!" Nathan now shouted. He sat up on his bed, waiting.

Dan finally opened the door. "When I call your name, I expect you to come." Dan hissed, and Nathan laughed.

"Who died and made you king?" Nathan retorted, a smug smirk on his face.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Dan asked, and the smirk fell from Nathan's face.

There was a moment of silence when Dan cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Apologizing? This made Nathan look up at him oddly.

"There's a Christmas banquet being held for all the basketball players and cheerleaders two hours from here. I would like for you and your brother to come. You both will be strong contributions to the team." Dan said, leaning against the doorframe.

"I haven't had a decent conversation with Lucas in months."

"So?"

"He's never going to do it, Dan! You killed- He hates you."

Dan shook his head. "Correction. He **hated** me. That is, after you convince him to tag along. If you don't do this for me, and you can trust me on this, you will be back in jail."

Nathan watched Dan leave the room, and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Brooke waited in the clinic, her leg bouncing up and down nervously. She hated doctor's appointments, there was always a chance someone could see her. Even with her hair tied up and oversized sunglasses.

There were two women leaving the clinic- Mrs. Smith and another woman for the Booster's Club.

"I heard the poor girl is pregnant." Mrs. Smith whispered to her friend while signing out.

"It's a shame. She made a good cheerleader. I wonder who knocked her up." The other one snickered, and Brooke froze.

"I heard it was Lucas Scott. A girl heard her and that little Haley girl- you know, Nathan's wife... Or ex-wife- talking in the girl's bathroom."

This made Brooke's heart speed up. Who heard her?!

"It's a damn shame, if you ask me. The girl had potential; you know she wanted to be a fashion designer? Just like Karen, she got abandoned by a Scott boy."

Brooke refrained from allowing tears well up in her eyes as Mrs. Smith glanced over at her friend.

"She** is** like Karen- not showing her face. She's a weak coward."

The subject now changed.

"When do the buses arrive tonight for the Christmas banquet? It's in a town two hours away, isn't it?"

"Seven sharp, the kids have to be there at 6:30 to go over rules and regulations." Mrs. Smith said, checking her watch.

"That's a bit early, you think? All weekend, our babies won't get to open their presents tomorrow. Christmas morning without my boy..." The woman choked up slightly.

"Over half the team- including the cheerleaders- has absentee parents. They'd rather be with each other than no one…" The two women were no longer in hearing distance as they exited the clinic. Brooke sat there, stunned.

How dare anyone say that she was weak, never mind a coward? Brooke Davis was no coward, if only they knew what she was going through-

_Don't play a victim, you're pathetic! You're stronger than that, than them. They're catty and I'm ashamed that you'd let them get to you like that. Frankly, I'm ashamed of everything you've been doing- hiding, moping… Everything. Lucas wants you back, so stop wasting time and put your life back together!  
_

Brooke could have sworn the words that just went through her mind weren't hers, but she didn't want to think of the other possibilities. She brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face and waited anxiously, erasing the brief image of her former blonde best friend out of her mind.

"Ms. Davis?" The nurse called, and Brooke glanced around before standing up and hurriedly walked to the nurse's side. What the nurse said then made her freeze in surprise.

"Right this way, my dear. Today you will find out the sex of your baby! Aren't you excited?"

Lucas returned home, his mother no longer outside. In fact, all the lights were off and his mother's car wasn't in the driveway.

"Took you long enough." A low voice greeted him before he even got up the porch stairs, followed by the swing creaking.

"Nathan?" Lucas was surprised, almost thinking he wasn't seeing Nathan. "Weren't you in jail?"

"I got out." Nathan said casually, hands stuffed in his pockets. Lucas couldn't help but question in his mind on what terms he got out- and how. He was supposed to be doing up to a year.

"Are you going to the banquet?" Nathan asked suddenly. He figured he wouldn't beat around the bush- there was no use in that. Lucas laughed as he opened the front door, stuffing the keys in his coat and allowing Nathan inside.

"The Christmas banquet? Come on, Nate. I haven't played basketball since…" Lucas trailed off, preferring not to end that sentence.

Nathan shook his head, trying to make himself come across as ashamed. Frankly, he didn't care. He didn't care about anything.

"Let me ask you a question." Nathan said, and Lucas nodded, walking to the kitchen. "What did you used to do when you were stressed?"

Lucas took a deep breath. "Talk to H-" Lucas cut himself off. Haley was the first person that would come to mind, but Nathan **was** standing next to him.

"Talk to Brooke." Lucas answered, and Nathan shook his head. "What if Brooke wasn't there? What then?"

"Then I'd go to Peyton… Or you."

Nathan laughed out of spite at that, and shook his head again.

"What if you had no one to talk to?"

"I'd play basketball."

"Theoretically speaking, if you had no one to talk to, what would you do if you were angry?"

"Basketball."

"Sad?"

"…Basketball."

"Excited? Happy?"

"Listen, Nate-" Lucas cut off impatiently. He didn't need a lecture.

"No, **you listen**!" Nathan shrill voice in turn cut Lucas off. "You want your life to go back to normal?"

Lucas took a deep breath, and nodded his head just once.

"Then you have to start where it all began. And that is basketball. I'll see you at Tree Hill High at 6:30."

Nathan flashed a grin at Lucas, who still wasn't sure. He wasn't going to let him protest, though, and walked out the front door.

Brooke opened the front door to the apartment, and Haley snapped her book shut, shoving it under her notebook.

"How was the doctor's appointment?" Haley asked, and Brooke sat on the end of the couch. She put her head in her hands. "Brooke? W-what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Brooke's voice was muffled by her hands. She took a deep breath and looked up.

"I need to fix my mistakes. With Lucas, with dropping out of school… Everything." Haley had a feeling Brooke couldn't bring herself to say Peyton's name.

"What brought this on?" Haley said, scooting down near Brooke.

"I'm having a boy, Haley."


	4. We're Lost But Soon We'll Be Found

I'm surprised I got this chapter done so quickly! The ending of this chapter was VERY spur of the moment- really. The whole part before it including Nathan was made just so the ending would work properly... But I was still intending for the Nathan scene to be in the story, just not this early.

Hope you like the cliffhanger!

Read and review, tell me if you like my twist? :)

* * *

**Chapter Four:** We're Lost But Soon We'll Be Found

**(Lyric in title is from the song Soon We'll Be Found by Sia)**

Haley sat there in shock, feeling an empty yearning in her stomach. The two girls sat in silence, neither one moving, neither one looking at each other.

Haley slowly moved her hand, a cautious movement, and reached for Brooke's. Brooke took Haley's hand in hers, her eyes shut.

"Thank you." Brooke whispered, her voice hoarse. "For doing my work… I need to go back to school, Haley. I'm sorry about how I've been lately, it's just…"

"I know." Haley squeezed Brooke's hand. "Do you want me to call Lucas and tell him?"

"I want you to call Lucas and convince him to come to the Christmas banquet."

"Brooke… You can't go; you're not a cheerleader-"

"I was the captain, god dammit!" Brooke's scream rang out though the apartment, still holding onto Haley's hand. Haley could feel her shaking.

"You're pregnant." Haley quickly offered the next excuse, afraid for Brooke's safety. Her eyes finally snapped open.

"I'm not afraid of some baby bump getting in my way. It's little! No one cared when Theresa-" Brooke took a deep breath before she insulted Theresa. "After all, you'll be with me to beat any bitch's ass who calls me fat!"

Haley instantly yanked her hand away, standing up. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"You know what we're there for a whole weekend, right? Did your mind totally go blank when you forgot about the big basketball game against the Eagles after the banquet?" Haley said, walking across the room. Brooke promptly got up, and followed her.

"So what? Don't pull a Karen-" Brooke stopped when Haley narrowed her eyes. "What? Isn't this because of how Nathan used to play…?"

Haley winced at the suggestion, but Brooke didn't notice. She was too busy sticking out her bottom lip like a four year old, her hands intertwined with each other in a begging gesture.

"You seem to forget how unbelievably clumsy I am. Did I ever tell you about the birds?"

"Yes, Haley. You told me about the flock of crows that attacked you, oh, say about ten million times!"

"Murder." Haley corrected quietly, and Brooke threw up her hands in despair. "Whatever!"

Haley crossed her arms, a small smile on her face.

"Alright, here are a couple questions. What are you going to say? How are we going to learn a whole routine in one night? Where are you going to sleep? What about convincing Mr. Turner about coming back to school AND becoming a cheerleader again in four hours?"

"Easy!" A wide grin spread across Brooke's face, her dimples returning. Haley couldn't remember the last time she saw them.

"Me and Lucas will take it slowly. When I'm ready, I'll probably say… Hmm… That one is complicated. Maybe 'I'm pregnant', that could work." Brooke said sarcastically.

"Also, _you_ seem to forget how kick ass you were during the last Sparkle Classic tournament. And no one said we're going to learn some other routine by some chick that has no talent. I already have a routine in my head, and with the help of Mouth, it will be great. I'll sleep in a hotel room, obviously. With you as my roommate, because I've already talked to Mr. Turner. He agreed to everything, I must say I am quite persuasive."

"I hate you." Haley growled, and Brooke's grin returned.

"I know. Now call Lucas!"

Lucas was on his bed, using his computer. He stared at the blank Microsoft Word document. He wanted to write, but the words weren't coming out.

He glanced around for inspiration, and saw an empty bottle for his HCM pills hidden behind his lamp, pressing up against the wall. He groaned, slamming the laptop shut. He didn't have enough money to refill them, but with the basketball game…

Suddenly, the phone rang, breaking Lucas out of his thoughts. He automatically reached for Peyton's phone; it was just a matter of habit. He had been staring at it since he got home, but the person behind the screen name DYTIWWA had not texted.

Lucas looked down to realize that it wasn't Peyton's phone, but his own. Lucas let Peyton's phone drop onto his pillow as he reached for his, flipping it open.

"Hello?"

"Luke!" Haley answered, and Lucas' eyebrows immediately knotted. "Hales? Are you okay?"

"Wha- Why?"

Lucas shook his head, trying to clear a picture out of his mind.

**FLASHBACK- The day after Haley broke up with Nathan, Thanksgiving Day  
**

"Hello?" Lucas said, calling through the red apartment door. Lucas rapped his knuckles against the door, but no answer. He heard someone inside, someone crying.

Lucas opened the door, and the creak from it made Haley look up. The image, Lucas was sure, would be burned into his head forever.

Haley was sitting in her apartment, on the floor. She had pushed herself up against the wall, right under Nathan's little artistic 'masterpiece' hanging on the wall. Her legs were crossed, Indian-style, and she was clinging onto a plastic bracelet. She was weeping horribly, and she looked up. She said his name, her voice hoarse.

"Luke!"

"Hales?" Lucas said, immediately, walking over to her, his heartbeat speeding up in a panic. "Are you okay?"

Haley couldn't manage to choke out a 'no', so she shook her head. "What happened?" Lucas couldn't stand seeing his best friend like this, tears streaming down her face.

"I-" Haley stammered, Lucas taking a place on the floor next to her. Her fingers were trembling from holding onto the bracelet so tightly. She couldn't speak.

Lucas pulled the bracelet lightly from her fingers, and she sputtered something, yanking it back.

Lucas didn't need words to realize what had happened, what Haley had done to make her cry so hard. He pulled her into him, letting her cry onto his shirt. He tightened his grip around her, only making her cry more. Lucas didn't loosen his grip, though, as Haley clung onto him.

"D-Do you think I made a mistake?" Haley managed to choke out. Lucas sighed, smoothing out Haley's hair.

"You had to do what you thought was right, Hales. It doesn't matter what I think."

Haley nodded against his shirt, still crying. Somewhere along the line Haley stopped crying, so tired that she dozed off and fell asleep. Lucas was comfortable where he was, with his best friend in his arms, that he was falling asleep too.

He was almost asleep, in the state where you're not sure if you're awake or dreaming.

Lucas ignored the voice that suddenly filled his mind, not sure if it was reality. His brain already commanded him to sleep, his breathing slowing to a peaceful pattern.

"Haley, is he gone?"

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Lucas suddenly realized something he had brushed off. When the two woke up, Haley pushed Lucas out the door. The next day, when Lucas asked Haley about it, she said 'I don't remember, you shouldn't either'.

The voice Lucas had _thought_ joined him not in reality, but in sleep… The voice so sweet and happy yet swirled with slight vulnerability and nervousness could only belong to one person.

"Luke?" Haley repeated, breaking Lucas out of his trance. He was about to demand to talk to Brooke, but he wanted to see her face to face. He would go by the apartment, search every room… And if she was out, he would wait.

He'd wait forever.

"Oh, sorry. Why'd you call?" Lucas said politely, anger boiling under his skin. How could Haley- of all people- keep this from him?!

"Can you come to the Christmas banquet this weekend? Br- Well, I… I decided to become a cheerleader."

Lucas started laughing out loud. "Hey! I'm not bad-" Haley defended, but Lucas shook his head. He knew Haley couldn't see, so he stopped laughing.

"It's not that." Lucas held back a chuckle. Haley wanted to keep Brooke a secret from him, so why can't Lucas keep a secret from Haley? Regarding a certain brother of his…?

"Then what is it?"

"I was actually already going…" Lucas quickly lied about the reason for his laughter. He didn't even feel bad. This could work out- maybe Haley and Nathan could get back together.

"Great! I'll meet you there." Haley said triumphantly, hanging up the phone. Lucas shut his own phone with a smile.

Nathan sat on his bed, waiting for Dan to come into his room. Nathan would be able to tell him how easy it was- how easy it was to convince Lucas.

"Nathan?" Dan called, rushing into his room, pulling on his coat. "Sorry, son. Something came up at the office… I guess you'll have to spend a weekend with your brother alone."

Nathan's shoulders surprisingly drooped. He straightened quickly, feeling ridiculous. Disappointed because his father couldn't go on a trip with him? Bull.

"But-"

"Sorry! When you leave, can you shut off my laptop? Win a game for me, son!" Dan said, quickly leaving without a goodbye. This made Nathan's hate for Dan come back- he always treated Nathan like a slave.

With a sigh, Nathan packed his things for the weekend, the time nearing 6:30. A weekend with his brother… It sounded _alright._

"What are you doing to yourself?" Nathan muttered angrily, ripping out his old basketball uniform from his closet.

"You don't like your brother, or even your father…" Nathan stuffed his uniform in his suitcase, zipping it up.

"And know you're talking to yourself. Terrific."

Nathan ripped the suitcase off his bed with a groan, looking around the room. He sighed, wanting to talk to someone sane… He wasn't on good terms with a lot of people, except Brooke and Peyton.

Brooke was off hiding from Lucas somewhere- the bitter Nathan chuckled- and Peyton was… Dead.

Nathan walked out into the hallway, hating the unfamiliar house he was in. He hated it all- he wanted all he took for advantage back. Nathan allowed Haley's face to flash before his eyes once… Just to make sure he hadn't forgotten.

But once he saw it, his face turned to a scowl and walked to Dan's office. His suitcase hit something on Dan's desk, but Nathan ignored it, shutting off Dan's computer.

After doing that like Dan asked, Nathan grabbed what he hit on the desk. It was a tiny notebook, pocket-sized, and yellow. What caught Nathan's attention was the red, capitalized letters on the front labeled 'RVNGE'.

Nathan slowly flipped open the book. There were dates from the beginning of the year, sprawled in his handwriting.

**January 1****st**

**PS- WITH JJ AND JENJ**

**HJS- WITH BD EARLY MORNING SHOPPING, THEN WORK, THEN HOME TO NS**

**NS- WORK AT MALL, RC WITH LS, PRACTICE, HOME TO HJS**

**LS- HOME, RC WITH NS, PRACTICE, THEN TO BD**

**BD- HOME, CHEERLEADING, WITH LS ALL NIGHT**

**KR- WITH AND. ALL DAY**

**KS- AT WORK ALL DAY THEN HOME**

**DS- DRUNK ALL DAY AT HOME**

Nathan's mind swirled into a haze, confused. These were initials of those he knew- Peyton… Haley… Himself… Lucas… Brooke… Karen… Keith… His mother… Nathan flipped through the notebook, the logs getting more and more detailed. The last entry was a couple months after, the tiny notebook logging to August.

Nathan threw aside the notebook, yanking open each desk drawer. He had to have another…

The new notebook was wedged under a large business envelope in the bottom drawer. Sure enough, the dates continued. They continued all the way to today. Almost a year…

**December 25****th**

**HJS- HOME ALL DAY STUDYING, DOING WORK FOR BD, BLOCKING OUT NS FROM HER MIND… STILL WEARS PLASTIC BRACELET **

**NS- JAIL. WE MEET. COMES HOME. WITH DAIS. PUSHES HER AWAY… THINKS PEYTON IS TALKING TO HIM FROM THE DEAD… THEN TO LS TO CONVINCE HIM TO COME TO XMAS BAN.**

**LS- HOME, WORKING ON COMP., OUT TO CEMETARY, BACK HOME, TALKS TO NS, SAYS YES TO XMAS BAN.**

**KR- CRIES IN BEDROOM, WORKS IN GARDEN AND THEN AT THE CAFÉ, BACK HOME**

**DS- DOWNS MULTIPLE BOTTLES OF VODKA- NEW RECORD LOL**

**BD- HOME MOSTLY ALL DAY WITH HJS… GOES OUT… DISCOVERS BABY IS A BOY AT DOCTORS AND COMES HOME, TELLS HJS SHES GOING BACK TO THHS**

**PS- BASEMENT OF THAT HOUSE **

A choked gasp escaped Nathan's mouth, his lungs constricting. He didn't think anything could surprise him- not after Haley… Nathan quickly shook his head, refusing to believe Peyton was alive. Larry DID take her cremated remains and put them in the basement, that's what the obituary said.

Nathan flipped to the next page, refraining to allow his hands to shake.

**DYTIWWA- ****D****ID ****Y****OU ****T****HINK ****I****W****ASN'T ****W****ATCHING ****A****NYMORE**

That part was eerily unfamiliar, but Nathan grabbed the two notebooks and stuffed them into his suitcase. He didn't care if Dan found out he stole them- he needed to tell Lucas.

Somewhere across town, in a basement room with no windows, a person screamed for dear life.

"Oh, shh…" A man cooed, watching the girl in a chair rock back and forth.

"Let me OUT!"

The man polished his knife giddily.

"You didn't think this would end so soon, did you? Car crashes aren't my forte… The switch was terrific. No one noticed you got pulled out of the way and got replaced with someone looking JUST like you. Hmm, I'm a genius. Too bad no one cares enough about you to realize… Well, that you aren't dead."

"HELP!"

"It's quite funny, actually. I heard Nathan talking to himself earlier. He's imagining things."

The girl let out a piercing scream, but the man in front of her didn't bother to gag her with a rope.

"Scream all you want. No one will hear you, Peyton."


End file.
